wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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