its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
