The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
