i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
