ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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