my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
