I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
