So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize