I'm really into asian looking animals
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize