I hate your face
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
