I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize