he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
