Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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