Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"