Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
