So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?