Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.