You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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