she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
