The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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