i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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