I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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