Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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