I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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