At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
