Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
