remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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