I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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