id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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