the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
