how can u be prego again
are you so shy because you have an std?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
