I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
