"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
