come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
