so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
