Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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