I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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