Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
