I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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