GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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