I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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