Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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