so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
