Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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