I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
