Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Randomize
