You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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