I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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