my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
