i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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