Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
