You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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