wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
