Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize