Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
that's an acceptable place to lick
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
