That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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