I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
