Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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