i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
